Divorce, Dating, Relationship Support

Will He Come Back to Me? What To Do When Your Boyfriend Breaks Up With You

Reposted from: http://exboyfriendinsight.com/will-he-come-back-to-me-what-to-do-when-your-boyfriend-breaks-up-with-you/

This is a rough one.


How to Get Him Back

You cannot always get him back after he dumps you. Sometimes, the breakup is best for both of you and your best bet is to do what you can to move on.

Okay, we’ve got the worst-case scenario out of the way. Now, let’s examine what to do in any situation except that one.


Ignore Him—at first

Warning: Be careful with this step. We’ll see why in a second.

Most guys go into No Contact mode when they break up with their girlfriends. It’s an ancient defense mechanism for guys who are unsure how to deal with certain emotions. Remember, guys don’t get to have emotions, most of the time: they’re either expected to be sexual robots primarily concerned with their WSWPH (Women Slept With Per Hour), or some kind of real-life version of Rambo. Neither of these has much room in it for being sad, or even conflicted, about a breakup.

His friends are not going to be any help in this department. They are going to believe that if he broke up with you, he had good reason—whether he did or not. They are also going to believe that if he decides that maybe he was wrong, it’s their job to talk him out of his “weak” moment (see how any conflicted emotions get quashed?) and back into his normal guy self. His “normal guy self,” at this point, includes lots of partying, outings with his buddies, hitting on as many women as possible, and lots of status updates about how super-fantastic everything is, and he is.

This is like twisting the knife in the wound for most women. The last thing in the world you want to see is your man leave you in a fiery, explosive breakup (where you both probably said a lot of nasty things you didn’t really mean), and then get right back up the next day and have everything in his life be awesome. But have faith—things are, as usual, not what they seem.

The more time he spends publicly announcing that things are great for him (and telling himself over and over that he feels awesome), the more he’s probably conflicted about the breakup. Guys all the time go out and sleep with as many women as they can, because they think that’s what they’d do if they were truly over you. They’re trying to convince themselves, and they’re probably trying to convince you, a little bit, too.

So you have to ride out this storm. It’s the roughest part of the whole game, but it’s also the most important. Calling him 57 times a day is the most surefire way to get rid of him forever.


There are two reasons for this:

The first is that those 57 calls, whatever the voicemail messages might say, send one message loud and clear: desperate.

That’s probably not what you wanted to hear, but it’s fundamentally important. And we have to take this brutal honesty thing one step further, here: would you really want to be with someone desperate? It’s not a very attractive quality. And, as we’ll explore in-depth below, you need to be as attractive as possible right now.

The second reason is that all those calls let your ex know that you are right there, a safe bet if he ever decides that he was wrong.

If, on the other hand, your life appears to be going well, and you appear to be doing just great without him, that’s going to trigger (hopefully) much the same reaction in him that his posturing did in you.

He’ll start to wonder. He’ll get conflicted. He may just pull up your Facebook page when his buddies aren’t looking. And when he does…


Living Well is the Best Revenge

Have faith that it’s the best way to make him want you back. Pamper yourself. Go out with your girlfriends, get your nails done—go and do those ‘you’ things that have nothing to do with your ex, but that you truly enjoy. Spend a few weeks just focusing on being the best and most attractive person you can possibly be. Do what makes you feel good about yourself. That, coupled with ignoring him, is the best way to make him start looking over his shoulder, and wondering… what if?

Then, when he finally caves and goes back to check out your Facebook, for example, what he sees is a girl who looks great, apparently feels great, and whose life is going really well. Hey, that sounds like… a guy who might just be interested in you.

And that is exactly what is needed here.


After a While, Try Talking

But only a little! This is the second hard part. Once things have calmed down, and both you and he have had a chance to ride out that crazy emotional storm, you can try a quick hello. The best thing to do is just drop a line—“hey, it’s been a while. How are things going?” is normally enough. But personalize it for your own conversation style; remember, you already seduced this guy once. Just being you—that best version of you—is the best possible course of action for attracting him back.


Be Seductive

Getting a guy back after he dumps you is an art, not a science. You’ll have to make a lot of decisions for yourself. But that’s a good thing: guys don’t fall in love with formulas. They fall in love with girls. And the girls that men find most attractive are the ones that look and feel their best, whether the guy likes them or not. You may feel absolutely terrible, not only about what’s happened, but also about yourself. Getting dumped can make you feel pretty ugly and unattractive, but you know enough now to know better. If he didn’t find you attractive, he would not have started dating you in the first place. If the way he felt about you changed, it was because something in the relationship changed.

So go out there and be your absolute best self. Take the time to make you feel good about you: no formula you’re going to find on the Internet will be better than that for bringing your ex (and probably a couple other guys, too) running.

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