Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/women/independent-woman-lonely/860335/
Today calls for a celebration of all the ladies who genuinely have their *bleep* together. This is in honor of the girl who works hard and expects nothing from anyone else.
She’s completely confident in deciding what she wants and acquires it all on her own.
Maybe it started early in high school. She wanted a car, so she got a job and slowly built up her credit until she bought that ’94 Honda Civic. From there, this independence became her lifestyle.
After all, there was something very lame about her friends getting their car keys confiscated by their parents. Her belongings were always completely her own, and she became the I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T 20-something she is today.
What she does rely on are things that never fail to disappoint: Her sturdy stilettos boost her confidence, not somebody telling her she’s sexy; sips from a cup of hot tea give her warmth when everything is not okay, not the arms of someone with unrequited love.
She relies on the gas in her car to get her around, not enticements to get her just anywhere. She decides how she’ll spend her $100, with whom she spends her time, and she chooses what matters in her life. Her decision-making skills are sharpened until she’s a thriving powerhouse.
She learns about her abilities from being on her own two feet.
Yet, her independence is often mistaken for an intimidating and isolated individual who declines most helping hands and insists on doing everything on her own. But, people are not islands, and being lonely is something completely different.
Being lonely carries heavy weight, like misery and frustration. People are lonely when they are cold with no answers to their problems; people are independent when they self-assuredly go seek their own answers.
The independent need love and affection, too. She is allowed to seek the human need of closeness and intimacy; she is not allowed to cave when wanting someone who is unhealthy for her.
Moreover, she doesn’t seek relationships as an aid or to fill an emotional void. She doesn’t love for the sake of getting rent paid, and she isn’t extra close to someone because he has a car and she needs a ride.
She might be in a relationship, but will still be left with her own stability if it doesn’t work out.
Independent girls know how to appreciate small things because they matter to them. She appreciates her mortgage because it took her three years to save for the down payment for a lifetime of home ownership.
She appreciates her waitressing job on the side because it allows her to eat and live while she’s in school. She appreciates having three meals a day because she picked the ingredients and cooked them herself.
There is more gratitude for the small things when you’ve worked for it, but independence isn’t this joy of limitless freedom with no ties right off the bat.
It’s daunting and intimidating because you are on your own. She might be working two jobs and lack a social life because her dream needs funding; the independent girl sacrifices knowing no one will make way for her.
She is brave, but she isn’t lonely.
She knows hard work, and she knows the satisfaction of creating herself. The best part of building who are you from scratch is that you can take it any direction forward, detour or take a sharp left whenever you see fit.
To be independent is not to be detached, and to be lonely is not what self-reliance consists of. When you see an independent chick, you’ll know; she is confident in her stride because she makes thought-out decisions.
Maybe she’s having lunch alone, but don’t pity her for being solo. She’s okay doing things on her own; she’s on her own terms. If there is someone she’d like to share her goods, assets, ambition and heart with, she will.