Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/advice-from-toxic-relationships/1247518/

Written by: Alexia LaFata

When you’re stuck in a sh*tty relationship, it’s hard to know what to do.

You love this person. You’ve invested so much time in this person. But ultimately, the relationship is leaving you with more misery than joy, and you know you have to end it.

Finding the strength to do so, however, can be tough.

What has to happen for you to finally be pushed over the edge? What insult, teardown or mind f*ck does this person have to throw at you for you to find it in you to tell him to go away forever?

Or is your heart so wrapped up in the fantasy of the person you know he’s capable of being that you simply can’t fathom EVER giving up, no matter how poorly he treats you?

When it comes to matters of the heart and soul, there’s no easy answer. Recently, I talked to some people about their worst, most toxic relationships ever and the moment they knew they had to get out of it.

They have some advice for you.

Know your worth.

Please, get out. Know your worth. You are amazing, and he is a sac of hairy, smelly balls. Someone better is out there. Please, just don’t do this to yourself.

–Marie, 22

Your mental health is more important than trying to fix his.

–Kelli, 22

LIFE IS SHORT. Seriously. We all have the feeling sometimes that we don’t want to hurt anyone, and we can stick it out. Maybe things will change. But if it’s in your heart that something is not going to work out, don’t waste your time, and don’t waste your partner’s. It might be hard, but staying in a terrible relationship is not doing either of you any favors.

–Christiana*, 23

It’s not worth it.

Consistent sex is never worth the stress. Girls will always be there, and just as easily as you convinced yourself that you cannot live without your partner, you can just as easily get comfortable with being single.

Also people tend not to change, so if you like dealing with the bullsh*t, then don’t lie to yourself and call your relationship terrible because you secretly like arguing and all that. Also, if you’re going to break up, do it in person or over a call. Texting is for soft ass dudes.

–Farmsworth*, 24

That no relationship is worth that kind of trauma. You need to value yourself enough to know you deserve more. Someone who really loves you doesn’t want to hurt you.

–Gina*, 25

Get out of it now. It might be the harder short-term decision to make, but you’ll be saving yourself a lot of misery in the long-term. The sooner you end it, the sooner you can start getting over it… and the closer you are to a better life.

–Lucky*, 25

People don’t change.

It’s really, really rare for someone to be able to change dramatically enough to make a difference.

–Jen*, 25

Leave that person immediately; it’s not gonna get better. Ever. People rarely change, and they most certainly don’t change FOR YOU. And if you think that’s what you deserve, think again. It can always be better.

Like, don’t let anyone treat you like sh*t or give up on true love just because some idiot hurt you or made you think this is all you’ll ever get. If this is all you know, all you have — let go, and understand that you don’t have to suffer.

Be f*cking picky. After all, letting the wrong people into your life will do more damage than good.

–Farina, 18

Get the f*ck out. See the light, before that girl goes “Gone Girl” on your ass and, you’re in it for good. Nobody wants a “Gone Girl” situation on his hands.

–Michael*, 26

Your friends know best.

If everyone around you is telling you this is dysfunctional, it’s PROBABLY dysfuctional. Do not minimize the opinions of those who know you the best.

–Gina, 22

That is actually going on right now. I told him “Mate, I want to see you happy, and if that is with this girl, then I will support you. But you’re not happy. You know it. I know it. We both know what you have to do, but it is up to you to decide whether you want to or not.”

–Jordy, 23

Unfortunately, most people don’t see how bad things are from the outside, even when someone points it out to them — it’s one of those things you just have to let people figure out for themselves.

If I were really worried about a friend — say, her BAE is rude to others, or he’s cheating on her, or I’m worried that he’s being abusive or controlling — I’d stage some kind of intervention. But I think most of the time, you just have to be there for your friend while she sorts it out.

–Katie, 22

I’d say, “Girl, I’ve been there (I hung on for three-plus years), and I get it, but you’re being real f*cking dumb.”

–Katie*, 23

Run.

GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN! The longer you stay in it, the more hurt you’ll be when it ends (Oh, and it WILL end. Beat him to the punch).

–Sheena, 25

Break up with him or her if you feel this way sooner than later. If you can’t do that, then just wait him or her out — a person like that can’t be patient.

–James*, 23

Get the f*ck out. If you have to think about if you should still be in the relationship, you shouldn’t be in the relationship.

–Lauren, 20

I’d say run while you can!

–Sammy*, 22

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/attracted-bad-boys-girls/1263097/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=EG&utm_content=1263097

Written by: Alexis DiZenzo

All a bad boy wants is a good girl to be bad for him.

However, it gets really old dealing with jerks for so long. Oddly enough, in the same way he can’t make you bad, you can’t make him good, either.

Relationships suck when the only guys you can get are straight up assh*les. It’s even worse when you put all your effort into him, and think you can change him when you can’t.

So, why are you an assh*le magnet? What makes all of them flock over to you?

Well, it starts with being too nice.

Guys can easily tell who they can and cannot walk all over. The second they know they have the upper hand, you are basically doomed.

These are the main reasons why you’re an assh*le magnet:

1. You don’t know how to say “no,” and he knows that.

Yes, women like to please others.

But if he’s not pleasing you as often as you’re pleasing him, it’s time to say no. The next time he calls you at 1 am to ask you to come over, say no.

There is a difference between being too nice to the point where you’re being taken advantage of.

You don’t need to be nice to assh*les.

2. He uses forms of social media to contact you, and you respond.

Our society has already deemed that a text message is a perfectly formal way to set up a date.

However, when he uses Snapchat, Facebook and Twitter DMs to talk to you (and you respond), you allow him to think it’s okay to contact you in such an informal way.

If booty calls were okay, Snapchat still would not be a way to initiate them.

3. You’re vulnerable, and he knows it.

Some women are really good at thinking like men. They know exactly how to play their games.

But sometimes, women are just plain vulnerable, and men know exactly how to tell.

Once they know, they use that as their cue to treat you the way a jerk would.

Men know vulnerable women will come back around, no matter what.

4. He’s good at sweet talking, and you believe everything you hear.

He keeps preaching about how great of a guy he is, and he knows you’re going to believe it.

It happens.

We all want to believe the good we hear, but if he’s constantly telling you how great he is and sees you’re buying it, he’s going to keep being an assh*le.

He knows he can treat you however he wants, and just sweet talk you later because you’ll buy it.

5. You think you can change him, and he just isn’t trying to change his ways.

As women, we have this empowering natural drive to try and change people and situations.

Although women are powerful, it’s very hard to change a person.

The fantasy of being able to change an assh*le into a nice guy drives us closer to them. It should be driving us farther away.

6. He only wants to have face-to-face conversations when he isn’t sober, and you respond.

They say nothing good happens after 12 am, and there is nothing good that can happen when you’re both under the influence.

Assh*les will use the excuse of “I was wasted when I said that” just to cover up their behavior.

However, drunk sayings are sober thoughts.

So if he made an assh*le comment under the influence, he meant it.

7. You don’t love yourself enough to break your force of assh*le attraction.

Self-love is the only way to break that magnetic force that attracts all the assh*les to you.

When you learn to love yourself, the magnetic field dies down and everything falls into place.

Maybe not every guy you attract is an assh*le, and not every guy you meet down the road will be.

There are good guys out there, but they are attracted to girls who love themselves first.

Reposted from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/getting-back-out-there/201506/when-the-person-you-love-doesnt-love-you

Written by: Susan J Elliott JD, M.Ed.

It’s hard but it happens.

And it hurts.

You love someone who may have loved you once upon a time.

Or

You love someone who acted like there was a possibility of love in return, but now there’s not.

Or

You love someone who simply doesn’t feel the same way and isn’t going to feel the same way.

Ever.

Or

You loved someone deeply who loved you deeply and then this person just switched off and hurt you in ways that were unimaginable at the height of your mutual love.

Or

This person loved you and you loved them and then someone new came along and they left. Friends tell you that you are better than this new person in every way. But your ex is still with Mr. or Ms. New Thing.

Whatever the situation, you’re left with excruciating pain.

As you walk through life, zombie-like, all you can do is review the exchanges over and over in your mind. Where did it go wrong or fail to go right? What should you have done that you didn’t? What did you do that you shouldn’t have? The perseveration drives you crazy. You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping. You’re a weepy mess. You feel rejected and less than. You feel as if there is something really wrong with you. You wonder what you could do to MAKE this person want you.

If your love is with a new person who doesn’t come close to being what you are, you cannot understand it. You can see this new person clearly and your ex is blind to the flaws and foibles of the new love. In fact, your ex is completely enthralled by someone whom you can see is clearly not a good match. Whenever you think about them together, your mind shuts off or you crumble completely.

When there is nothing or no one else, it is even harder to fathom. Your mate just fell out of love one day or failed to fall in love on the day you did. They have stumbled and stuttered through explanations but nothing is going to make you feel better except for, “I love you and want to come back.”

Even more baffling is possibility that the person just wants to be left alone. There isn’t someone else; there’s no real reason. Your lover simply said, “I just want out.” Your mind reels with astonishment, “Wait. You’re choosing NOTHING over me? What?”

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/women/when-a-guy-really-likes-you/1100193/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=EG&utm_content=1100193

Written by: Toni Lynn Arena

Despite dating apps, swiping right and follow-up plans, the age-old question, “Is he into me?” somehow manages to remain a mystery.

The truth is, while women may be notoriously complex creatures, understanding the male species is actually pretty simple.

You know he really likes you when:

1. He tries to make plans.

There is no one more determined than a guy who really knows what he wants.

If he’s into you, he will ask you to hang out. Whether it’s a text, phone call, Facebook message or just stopping by, if he’s asking you to meet up, it’s because he wants to.

2. He’s persistent.

There is definitely a fine line between creepy and persistent, but a guy who’s into you won’t ask once or twice and then move on to the low hanging fruit.

When someone really catches his eye, anything less just won’t do.

3. He talks to you like a friend.

A guy who really likes you wants to know all about you, and he doesn’t limit his communication to 2 am.

He wants to know what you enjoy doing in your free time (and accompany you), what music you like and what kind of lifestyle you have. He’s interested in you as a whole, and not just a whole night.

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/best-things-not-worth-fighting/1091107/

Written by: Fatima Faisal

“Nothing in life comes easy,” except for relationships.

All you lovely single gals are probably shaking your heads in confusion, thinking if there is one universal struggle, it’s relationships. We have “He’s Just Not That Into You” and T-Swift’s “Bad Blood” to prove it.

Here is the problem: We have been taught to fight for everything; we have this idea that anything worth it won’t come easy. This notion is the reason for demise in most relationships.

We think arguing is passionate; we think how scared he is indicates how deeply he cares; we think indecisiveness is simply attributed to immaturity.

The thing is, if it is truly love, or if someone truly likes you and wants to be with you, it is easy.

I’ve seen so many of my friends struggle with this simple concept. They spend countless months fighting for the “one” because they think that is what they are supposed to do, or they stay in one-sided relationships hoping one day it will be reciprocated.

Life is filled with complications, and no situation is ever ideal. There are going to be barriers and problems.

Those things make relationships stronger, but when you have an understanding with your partner, it is easy to face him or her.