Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/girls-dated-woman-marry/1297339/

Written by: Paul Hudson

I have a confession to make: I’ve lost count of the number of women I’ve dated, slept with, hung out with and fallen for.

I don’t believe there’s a problem with taking the time to explore both your sexuality and your capacity for love. But eventually, you lose a reason to continue on the same path. You keep telling yourself that everyone is special, but you know that’s bullshit. If everyone were special, no one would be special.

Back when I was questioning whether or not the greatest love of my life was the greatest love I could possibly find, I remember thinking I needed to take time to explore. I needed time to date, to f*ck, to party, to let loose and live. To YOLO and other crap like that.

So I did. I dated, f*cked and partied like there was no tomorrow. Do I regret it? Sometimes. I don’t regret meeting all those women and getting to know them (some better than others). But I do regret thinking that I needed something that I didn’t need.

I definitely wanted all of this at the time. I wanted everything so bad that I decided to end an amazing relationship. I embraced the young, dumb, filled-with-testosterone lifestyle — the life of a 20-something male — in the real Sin City: Manhattan.

The city treated me very well. There were models. Dancers. Strippers. FIT students. Life was good — hell, it was great. Until, of course, I wised up.

For some men, getting laid is enough. Not for all, but for many. Maybe even for most.

Reposted from: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/6-kinds-of-compliments-men-would-love-to-hear-more-often-jgc/

Written by: Jordan Gray

I have written countless articles on ways to make women feel more seen, heard, loved, and appreciated. As many readers have expressed a desire to hear the male equivalent, I figured it’s time to fulfill those requests. I don’t feel like it’s talked about enough, but men respond to praise and appreciation just as much as women do. In many cases, possibly even more so. Whatever the reason, women tend to get the lion’s share of the verbal praise when it comes to how they look and how they make men feel. Case in point, I can name ten songs off the top of my head that are solely about how attractive women are (inside and out)… and I can’t even name five about men without reeeaaally digging for them. So without further ado, here are six kinds of compliments that men would love to hear more often. Some of these I heard as requests from the men who asked me to write this article, others are things that my male clients have often mentioned they felt insecure about in their relationships, and a smaller portion have come from my personal dating history. 1. Compliments that show that you believe in him One of the biggest things that makes a guy melt is when his partner supports him and believes in him. This is one of the most consistent things that I heard from my male readers when I went to them regarding writing this article. One of my clients said, “When she says any variation of ‘I believe in you’ I feel like a superhero who can achieve anything”. Examples: – I believe in you. – I love how driven you are. – Whatever you put your mind to, I know you’ll be able to achieve it. You always have. – Of course people want to work with you/for you… people trust you and your abilities. As they should. You’re amazing at what you do. – Of course you got a raise/that new job. You’re talented, hard working, and everyone knows it. I’m so proud of you. – You’ve accomplished so much in your life already. I’m sure you’ll continue to go on to do many more great things. You’ll make the most of any situation that comes your way. 2. Body and appearance-specific compliments While men might not get as much body shaming marketing as the average woman does in western society, guys are still insecure about certain elements of their physical appearance. Besides, every person (regardless of gender) likes knowing that their partner finds them aesthetically pleasing. Whether it’s his arms, hands, eyes, thighs, or private parts that are on the receiving end of the compliment, guys aren’t too picky. Here are some examples of compliments that my male readers said touched their heart: – You look so handsome. – Wow… you weren’t kidding when you said you had been working out. Look at you! – You look extra manly today. I like it. – You look so handsome in that suit/tie/outfit! – I love being wrapped up in your sexy arms. – You look beautiful when you laugh. – You look beautiful when you cry. – You always look so handsome… even when you’ve just woken up and your hair is all messy. 3. Compliments that acknowledge his efforts Everyone likes to be recognized for the effort that they put into their relationship. Show him that you appreciate what he does for you. Even the simplest things. Notice and recognize it all. Whenever you appreciate something out loud, you tend to get more of it. And even if you don’t, you still get to make him feel loved. Whether he took out the garbage, replaced the light bulb, or did the dishes is irrelevant… what matters is that you recognize him for his acts of service every now and then. Examples… – You’re so good to me. – Thank you so much for cooking for me, love. I really appreciate it. And this is delicious! – You can fix anything, can’t you? – I love how gentle you are with me. – Thank you for listening to me. I really appreciate you letting me vent. – I noticed that you did (this) for me. Thank you for being so thoughtful. I really appreciate it. You’re very sweet with me and I love it. – I loved seeing you playing with (mutual friend’s) kids earlier today. Your playful side is so sexy. I love that you can cut loose and have fun sometimes. 4. Compliments that show that you respect him Several studies have shown that men feel respect as love and they put a higher emotional premium on feeling respected than necessarily feeling loved. While I don’t think that these studies necessarily mean much on the individual level, it’s important to note that your man likely wants to feel respected within your relationship. Here are some ways to say it to him: – You’re a good man. – I’m proud of you. – I have so much respect for you. – You become a better version of yourself every time I see you. – It took a lot of courage to admit you were wrong/apologize/have that tough conversation back there… I really admire that you were able to do that. It was very attractive. – I love how forgiving you are with those closest to you. It took a lot of strength to be the bigger man back there and you couldn’t have done any better. – I love how considerate/caring you are with my friends/parents/co-workers. You are so aware of other people and I really appreciate it. 5. Compliments that show that you trust him and his ability to lead Blame social conditioning, biology, or whatever else you’d like to, but the majority of men have a deep level love of being seen as the leader in their lives and relationships. Let him know that you see him and that you trust his way of being in the world by saying a few of the following: – I trust you. – I’m on your side. – You’ve never steered us wrong in the past. – I would follow you anywhere. – You always give the best advice. You’re so smart. 6. Compliments that show that you are affected by him Essentially all men know the feeling of having someone walk past them who is so attractive that they go weak in the knees. The intoxicating rush of attraction that we feel is a potent one. Let him know that you feel something similar when you are around him. – I can’t help but blush around you. – You always know how to make me smile. – I respond to you on such a deep level. – I feel like I can accomplish so much more in my life because I have you as a safety net. I always feel supported by you and it means so much to me. – Your eyes are so captivating. I could get lost in them forever. – I’ve never felt more safe and comfortable around any other person. I love being in your presence. – I’ve never been more turned on by anyone. You make me weak in the knees so often. – You are the funniest guy I know. Wrap Up Your unique guy will respond to some of these more strongly than others. Try out a handful of them and see what comes of it. And before the comments section turns into a “Why do we need to stroke the male ego?”/“People don’t need compliments… they should be internally validated!” fest… this article is merely setting out a blueprint to help people live with love more often. Everyone enjoys receiving a sincere compliment, and the majority of these could be applied to any woman as well. – See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/6-kinds-of-compliments-men-would-love-to-hear-more-often-jgc/#sthash.1gEQ1gVO.dpuf

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/advice-from-toxic-relationships/1247518/

Written by: Alexia LaFata

When you’re stuck in a sh*tty relationship, it’s hard to know what to do.

You love this person. You’ve invested so much time in this person. But ultimately, the relationship is leaving you with more misery than joy, and you know you have to end it.

Finding the strength to do so, however, can be tough.

What has to happen for you to finally be pushed over the edge? What insult, teardown or mind f*ck does this person have to throw at you for you to find it in you to tell him to go away forever?

Or is your heart so wrapped up in the fantasy of the person you know he’s capable of being that you simply can’t fathom EVER giving up, no matter how poorly he treats you?

When it comes to matters of the heart and soul, there’s no easy answer. Recently, I talked to some people about their worst, most toxic relationships ever and the moment they knew they had to get out of it.

They have some advice for you.

Know your worth.

Please, get out. Know your worth. You are amazing, and he is a sac of hairy, smelly balls. Someone better is out there. Please, just don’t do this to yourself.

–Marie, 22

Your mental health is more important than trying to fix his.

–Kelli, 22

LIFE IS SHORT. Seriously. We all have the feeling sometimes that we don’t want to hurt anyone, and we can stick it out. Maybe things will change. But if it’s in your heart that something is not going to work out, don’t waste your time, and don’t waste your partner’s. It might be hard, but staying in a terrible relationship is not doing either of you any favors.

–Christiana*, 23

It’s not worth it.

Consistent sex is never worth the stress. Girls will always be there, and just as easily as you convinced yourself that you cannot live without your partner, you can just as easily get comfortable with being single.

Also people tend not to change, so if you like dealing with the bullsh*t, then don’t lie to yourself and call your relationship terrible because you secretly like arguing and all that. Also, if you’re going to break up, do it in person or over a call. Texting is for soft ass dudes.

–Farmsworth*, 24

That no relationship is worth that kind of trauma. You need to value yourself enough to know you deserve more. Someone who really loves you doesn’t want to hurt you.

–Gina*, 25

Get out of it now. It might be the harder short-term decision to make, but you’ll be saving yourself a lot of misery in the long-term. The sooner you end it, the sooner you can start getting over it… and the closer you are to a better life.

–Lucky*, 25

People don’t change.

It’s really, really rare for someone to be able to change dramatically enough to make a difference.

–Jen*, 25

Leave that person immediately; it’s not gonna get better. Ever. People rarely change, and they most certainly don’t change FOR YOU. And if you think that’s what you deserve, think again. It can always be better.

Like, don’t let anyone treat you like sh*t or give up on true love just because some idiot hurt you or made you think this is all you’ll ever get. If this is all you know, all you have — let go, and understand that you don’t have to suffer.

Be f*cking picky. After all, letting the wrong people into your life will do more damage than good.

–Farina, 18

Get the f*ck out. See the light, before that girl goes “Gone Girl” on your ass and, you’re in it for good. Nobody wants a “Gone Girl” situation on his hands.

–Michael*, 26

Your friends know best.

If everyone around you is telling you this is dysfunctional, it’s PROBABLY dysfuctional. Do not minimize the opinions of those who know you the best.

–Gina, 22

That is actually going on right now. I told him “Mate, I want to see you happy, and if that is with this girl, then I will support you. But you’re not happy. You know it. I know it. We both know what you have to do, but it is up to you to decide whether you want to or not.”

–Jordy, 23

Unfortunately, most people don’t see how bad things are from the outside, even when someone points it out to them — it’s one of those things you just have to let people figure out for themselves.

If I were really worried about a friend — say, her BAE is rude to others, or he’s cheating on her, or I’m worried that he’s being abusive or controlling — I’d stage some kind of intervention. But I think most of the time, you just have to be there for your friend while she sorts it out.

–Katie, 22

I’d say, “Girl, I’ve been there (I hung on for three-plus years), and I get it, but you’re being real f*cking dumb.”

–Katie*, 23

Run.

GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN! The longer you stay in it, the more hurt you’ll be when it ends (Oh, and it WILL end. Beat him to the punch).

–Sheena, 25

Break up with him or her if you feel this way sooner than later. If you can’t do that, then just wait him or her out — a person like that can’t be patient.

–James*, 23

Get the f*ck out. If you have to think about if you should still be in the relationship, you shouldn’t be in the relationship.

–Lauren, 20

I’d say run while you can!

–Sammy*, 22

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/attracted-bad-boys-girls/1263097/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=EG&utm_content=1263097

Written by: Alexis DiZenzo

All a bad boy wants is a good girl to be bad for him.

However, it gets really old dealing with jerks for so long. Oddly enough, in the same way he can’t make you bad, you can’t make him good, either.

Relationships suck when the only guys you can get are straight up assh*les. It’s even worse when you put all your effort into him, and think you can change him when you can’t.

So, why are you an assh*le magnet? What makes all of them flock over to you?

Well, it starts with being too nice.

Guys can easily tell who they can and cannot walk all over. The second they know they have the upper hand, you are basically doomed.

These are the main reasons why you’re an assh*le magnet:

1. You don’t know how to say “no,” and he knows that.

Yes, women like to please others.

But if he’s not pleasing you as often as you’re pleasing him, it’s time to say no. The next time he calls you at 1 am to ask you to come over, say no.

There is a difference between being too nice to the point where you’re being taken advantage of.

You don’t need to be nice to assh*les.

2. He uses forms of social media to contact you, and you respond.

Our society has already deemed that a text message is a perfectly formal way to set up a date.

However, when he uses Snapchat, Facebook and Twitter DMs to talk to you (and you respond), you allow him to think it’s okay to contact you in such an informal way.

If booty calls were okay, Snapchat still would not be a way to initiate them.

3. You’re vulnerable, and he knows it.

Some women are really good at thinking like men. They know exactly how to play their games.

But sometimes, women are just plain vulnerable, and men know exactly how to tell.

Once they know, they use that as their cue to treat you the way a jerk would.

Men know vulnerable women will come back around, no matter what.

4. He’s good at sweet talking, and you believe everything you hear.

He keeps preaching about how great of a guy he is, and he knows you’re going to believe it.

It happens.

We all want to believe the good we hear, but if he’s constantly telling you how great he is and sees you’re buying it, he’s going to keep being an assh*le.

He knows he can treat you however he wants, and just sweet talk you later because you’ll buy it.

5. You think you can change him, and he just isn’t trying to change his ways.

As women, we have this empowering natural drive to try and change people and situations.

Although women are powerful, it’s very hard to change a person.

The fantasy of being able to change an assh*le into a nice guy drives us closer to them. It should be driving us farther away.

6. He only wants to have face-to-face conversations when he isn’t sober, and you respond.

They say nothing good happens after 12 am, and there is nothing good that can happen when you’re both under the influence.

Assh*les will use the excuse of “I was wasted when I said that” just to cover up their behavior.

However, drunk sayings are sober thoughts.

So if he made an assh*le comment under the influence, he meant it.

7. You don’t love yourself enough to break your force of assh*le attraction.

Self-love is the only way to break that magnetic force that attracts all the assh*les to you.

When you learn to love yourself, the magnetic field dies down and everything falls into place.

Maybe not every guy you attract is an assh*le, and not every guy you meet down the road will be.

There are good guys out there, but they are attracted to girls who love themselves first.

Reposted from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/getting-back-out-there/201506/when-the-person-you-love-doesnt-love-you

Written by: Susan J Elliott JD, M.Ed.

It’s hard but it happens.

And it hurts.

You love someone who may have loved you once upon a time.

Or

You love someone who acted like there was a possibility of love in return, but now there’s not.

Or

You love someone who simply doesn’t feel the same way and isn’t going to feel the same way.

Ever.

Or

You loved someone deeply who loved you deeply and then this person just switched off and hurt you in ways that were unimaginable at the height of your mutual love.

Or

This person loved you and you loved them and then someone new came along and they left. Friends tell you that you are better than this new person in every way. But your ex is still with Mr. or Ms. New Thing.

Whatever the situation, you’re left with excruciating pain.

As you walk through life, zombie-like, all you can do is review the exchanges over and over in your mind. Where did it go wrong or fail to go right? What should you have done that you didn’t? What did you do that you shouldn’t have? The perseveration drives you crazy. You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping. You’re a weepy mess. You feel rejected and less than. You feel as if there is something really wrong with you. You wonder what you could do to MAKE this person want you.

If your love is with a new person who doesn’t come close to being what you are, you cannot understand it. You can see this new person clearly and your ex is blind to the flaws and foibles of the new love. In fact, your ex is completely enthralled by someone whom you can see is clearly not a good match. Whenever you think about them together, your mind shuts off or you crumble completely.

When there is nothing or no one else, it is even harder to fathom. Your mate just fell out of love one day or failed to fall in love on the day you did. They have stumbled and stuttered through explanations but nothing is going to make you feel better except for, “I love you and want to come back.”

Even more baffling is possibility that the person just wants to be left alone. There isn’t someone else; there’s no real reason. Your lover simply said, “I just want out.” Your mind reels with astonishment, “Wait. You’re choosing NOTHING over me? What?”