Reposted from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/getting-back-out-there/201506/when-the-person-you-love-doesnt-love-you

Written by: Susan J Elliott JD, M.Ed.

It’s hard but it happens.

And it hurts.

You love someone who may have loved you once upon a time.

Or

You love someone who acted like there was a possibility of love in return, but now there’s not.

Or

You love someone who simply doesn’t feel the same way and isn’t going to feel the same way.

Ever.

Or

You loved someone deeply who loved you deeply and then this person just switched off and hurt you in ways that were unimaginable at the height of your mutual love.

Or

This person loved you and you loved them and then someone new came along and they left. Friends tell you that you are better than this new person in every way. But your ex is still with Mr. or Ms. New Thing.

Whatever the situation, you’re left with excruciating pain.

As you walk through life, zombie-like, all you can do is review the exchanges over and over in your mind. Where did it go wrong or fail to go right? What should you have done that you didn’t? What did you do that you shouldn’t have? The perseveration drives you crazy. You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping. You’re a weepy mess. You feel rejected and less than. You feel as if there is something really wrong with you. You wonder what you could do to MAKE this person want you.

If your love is with a new person who doesn’t come close to being what you are, you cannot understand it. You can see this new person clearly and your ex is blind to the flaws and foibles of the new love. In fact, your ex is completely enthralled by someone whom you can see is clearly not a good match. Whenever you think about them together, your mind shuts off or you crumble completely.

When there is nothing or no one else, it is even harder to fathom. Your mate just fell out of love one day or failed to fall in love on the day you did. They have stumbled and stuttered through explanations but nothing is going to make you feel better except for, “I love you and want to come back.”

Even more baffling is possibility that the person just wants to be left alone. There isn’t someone else; there’s no real reason. Your lover simply said, “I just want out.” Your mind reels with astonishment, “Wait. You’re choosing NOTHING over me? What?”

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/women/when-a-guy-really-likes-you/1100193/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=EG&utm_content=1100193

Written by: Toni Lynn Arena

Despite dating apps, swiping right and follow-up plans, the age-old question, “Is he into me?” somehow manages to remain a mystery.

The truth is, while women may be notoriously complex creatures, understanding the male species is actually pretty simple.

You know he really likes you when:

1. He tries to make plans.

There is no one more determined than a guy who really knows what he wants.

If he’s into you, he will ask you to hang out. Whether it’s a text, phone call, Facebook message or just stopping by, if he’s asking you to meet up, it’s because he wants to.

2. He’s persistent.

There is definitely a fine line between creepy and persistent, but a guy who’s into you won’t ask once or twice and then move on to the low hanging fruit.

When someone really catches his eye, anything less just won’t do.

3. He talks to you like a friend.

A guy who really likes you wants to know all about you, and he doesn’t limit his communication to 2 am.

He wants to know what you enjoy doing in your free time (and accompany you), what music you like and what kind of lifestyle you have. He’s interested in you as a whole, and not just a whole night.

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/best-things-not-worth-fighting/1091107/

Written by: Fatima Faisal

“Nothing in life comes easy,” except for relationships.

All you lovely single gals are probably shaking your heads in confusion, thinking if there is one universal struggle, it’s relationships. We have “He’s Just Not That Into You” and T-Swift’s “Bad Blood” to prove it.

Here is the problem: We have been taught to fight for everything; we have this idea that anything worth it won’t come easy. This notion is the reason for demise in most relationships.

We think arguing is passionate; we think how scared he is indicates how deeply he cares; we think indecisiveness is simply attributed to immaturity.

The thing is, if it is truly love, or if someone truly likes you and wants to be with you, it is easy.

I’ve seen so many of my friends struggle with this simple concept. They spend countless months fighting for the “one” because they think that is what they are supposed to do, or they stay in one-sided relationships hoping one day it will be reciprocated.

Life is filled with complications, and no situation is ever ideal. There are going to be barriers and problems.

Those things make relationships stronger, but when you have an understanding with your partner, it is easy to face him or her.

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/to-the-boy-who-broke-me/1252041/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=EG&utm_content=1252041

Written by: Dana Shirley

Congratu — f*cking — lations.

You win.

Is that what you’ve been waiting to hear?

I’ll admit to it. You brought me up only to bring me down farther than I’d ever imagined.

I didn’t think I’d be able to pick myself back up.

There were endless nights where I cried myself to sleep.

Does it make you happy knowing that?

You brought out extremely ugly sides to me, which I didn’t even know existed before I met you.

You manipulated me into thinking I was messing up our relationship and was the worst girl in the world. But truth be told, that was all you.

At one point when you left, I thought my world was ending.

It was a long journey, until I realized my world was just beginning.

Because here’s the thing: You’re a f*ckboy.

No girl wants that. I can guarantee you of that.

You let the one person who actually gave a crap about you down and walked away from the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

It took being broken for me to understand my life was just starting.

I now understand what hitting rock bottom feels like, and now that I’m on top of the world, I wouldn’t take it back.

I have goals. Meanwhile, you have no college degree and live with your parents.

Good for you.

I’m not a bad person.

Don’t get me wrong; I have my fair share of flaws, and I’ll admit to that.

I’m emotional and sensitive, but you’ll never find someone who loves you the way I once did.

I would’ve done anything for you, but you made the decision to push me too far.

I don’t hate you and I’d never wish anything bad on you, but I also never care to speak to you again.

The feelings that were once so strong are now long gone.

You have left a scar on me, but scars fade with time. When I have a man who is deserving of my love and attention, I won’t once look back on the memories we had.

You need to learn to grow up. Your 20s are supposed to be fun, but you haven’t matured a bit.

It’s quite pathetic, actually. I almost feel bad for you. Almost.

I never needed you the way I thought I did and I’m proud of who I am. I know it’s not because of you.

No matter the length of time you were in my life — whether it was months or years — your impact on me has changed me, in some bad ways and some good ways.

Unfortunately, I come with baggage now.

But that’s okay because I want someone who accepts me for who I am in every sense, not the way you only accepted the aspects of me you liked.

No one is perfect and neither are you, but you never took the time to truly understand why I am the way I am.

Take a look in the mirror because you have plenty of qualities you should improve on. You should start by being nice.

I decided to take the high road and be the bigger person. I walked away from someone who no longer served a positive purpose in my life.

Although you broke me, I’m standing tall with my head held high.

I’ll admit it took longer than I expected, but I did it.

I’m not thankful for how you treated me. But I’m thankful for the fact that you made me realize I deserve so much more than what you offered (which wasn’t much).

So, here’s to the next chapter. This one is closed

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/5-reasons-break-up/1187466/

Written by: Keay Nigel

A few days ago, I received fan mail from a guy who had read my last Elite Daily piece, “The Difference Between Needing, Wanting And Loving.”

What caught my eye wasn’t the length of his email, which was over 2,000 words, but the way he poured his heart out to me, and the heartbreaking details he shared.

He met a woman while he was traveling for work in Asia. The moment they met, they instantly connected. They could talk about anything and everything.

He felt as though some external forces were bringing them together. It all felt right.

It was more than just love at first sight. Even after multiple date nights and several long-distance Skype calls, the attraction between them was unstoppable. It was like they were soulmates, and they had finally found each other.

She had even suggested they involve their parents, and, of course, he agreed.

“My parents would love you!” he told her.

But then, things took an ugly turn when this woman went on this nine day trekking trip. She returned safe and sound, but on the inside, it was like she was a completely different person.