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What I Would Say To The Man Who Hurt Me, But Didn’t Break Me

Wednesday, December 30, 2015 Break -ups, Churches, Dating, Diet, Divorce, Exercise, Geaux Girl, Relationships, Sports, Woman's Health Permalink

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/to-the-boy-who-broke-me/1252041/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=EG&utm_content=1252041

Written by: Dana Shirley

boy

Congratu — f*cking — lations.

You win.

Is that what you’ve been waiting to hear?

I’ll admit to it. You brought me up only to bring me down farther than I’d ever imagined.

I didn’t think I’d be able to pick myself back up.

There were endless nights where I cried myself to sleep.

Does it make you happy knowing that?

You brought out extremely ugly sides to me, which I didn’t even know existed before I met you.

You manipulated me into thinking I was messing up our relationship and was the worst girl in the world. But truth be told, that was all you.

At one point when you left, I thought my world was ending.

It was a long journey, until I realized my world was just beginning.

Because here’s the thing: You’re a f*ckboy.

No girl wants that. I can guarantee you of that.

You let the one person who actually gave a crap about you down and walked away from the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

It took being broken for me to understand my life was just starting.

I now understand what hitting rock bottom feels like, and now that I’m on top of the world, I wouldn’t take it back.

I have goals. Meanwhile, you have no college degree and live with your parents.

Good for you.

I’m not a bad person.

Don’t get me wrong; I have my fair share of flaws, and I’ll admit to that.

I’m emotional and sensitive, but you’ll never find someone who loves you the way I once did.

I would’ve done anything for you, but you made the decision to push me too far.

I don’t hate you and I’d never wish anything bad on you, but I also never care to speak to you again.

The feelings that were once so strong are now long gone.

You have left a scar on me, but scars fade with time. When I have a man who is deserving of my love and attention, I won’t once look back on the memories we had.

You need to learn to grow up. Your 20s are supposed to be fun, but you haven’t matured a bit.

It’s quite pathetic, actually. I almost feel bad for you. Almost.

I never needed you the way I thought I did and I’m proud of who I am. I know it’s not because of you.

No matter the length of time you were in my life — whether it was months or years — your impact on me has changed me, in some bad ways and some good ways.

Unfortunately, I come with baggage now.

But that’s okay because I want someone who accepts me for who I am in every sense, not the way you only accepted the aspects of me you liked.

No one is perfect and neither are you, but you never took the time to truly understand why I am the way I am.

Take a look in the mirror because you have plenty of qualities you should improve on. You should start by being nice.

I decided to take the high road and be the bigger person. I walked away from someone who no longer served a positive purpose in my life.

Although you broke me, I’m standing tall with my head held high.

I’ll admit it took longer than I expected, but I did it.

I’m not thankful for how you treated me. But I’m thankful for the fact that you made me realize I deserve so much more than what you offered (which wasn’t much).

So, here’s to the next chapter. This one is closed

It’s Not You: The 5 Brutally Honest Reasons Your Ex Broke Up With You

Wednesday, December 30, 2015 Break -ups, Churches, Dating, Diet, Divorce, Exercise, Geaux Girl, Relationships, Sports, Woman's Health Permalink

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/5-reasons-break-up/1187466/

Written by: Keay Nigel

break up

A few days ago, I received fan mail from a guy who had read my last Elite Daily piece, “The Difference Between Needing, Wanting And Loving.”

What caught my eye wasn’t the length of his email, which was over 2,000 words, but the way he poured his heart out to me, and the heartbreaking details he shared.

He met a woman while he was traveling for work in Asia. The moment they met, they instantly connected. They could talk about anything and everything.

He felt as though some external forces were bringing them together. It all felt right.

It was more than just love at first sight. Even after multiple date nights and several long-distance Skype calls, the attraction between them was unstoppable. It was like they were soulmates, and they had finally found each other.

She had even suggested they involve their parents, and, of course, he agreed.

“My parents would love you!” he told her.

But then, things took an ugly turn when this woman went on this nine day trekking trip. She returned safe and sound, but on the inside, it was like she was a completely different person.

Continue Reading…

Why You’ll Regret Giving Up The Girl Who Waited For You To Be Ready

Monday, December 28, 2015 Break -ups, Churches, Dating, Diet, Divorce, Exercise, Geaux Girl, Relationships, Sports Permalink

Reposted from:http://elitedaily.com/dating/to-wait-for-you/1102917/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=EG&utm_content=1102917

Written by: Stephanie Nunez

dating

There are very few people in the world who would wait for someone. I know this because very few have for me, and I’m sure far less have for you.

There are very few who would put their lives on hold for another human being, in hopes that the person would one day change and notice what they have in front of them.

Nonetheless, that’s exactly what I did for you.

You were my first real love. I know this because nothing ever compared. When we met, I didn’t want to give in, but when I finally did it was like nothing I ever felt.

We started strong, doing things we never thought we’d do for anyone else. I’d wonder how I ever got so lucky.

Every time we were together it was hard to leave, and when you’d drop me off, we’d spend hours together before I would finally go inside.

The days we didn’t see each other we’d count the hours until we did again, and we’d give in to days that we weren’t planning on seeing each other because we couldn’t handle it anymore.

I started to feel things I didn’t think possible, like jealousy or the need to be with someone every day, and that was scary. We were beautiful, not perfect, but beautiful.

Then it ended.

Continue Reading…

It’s All About Timing: Why You’ll Know When He’s Ready To Settle Down

Monday, December 28, 2015 Break -ups, Churches, Dating, Diet, Divorce, Exercise, Geaux Girl, Relationships, Sports, Woman's Health Permalink

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/guy-ready-settle-down/1254159/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=EG&utm_content=1254159

Written by: Shireen McCleary

light

Miranda:

Men are like cabs. When they’re available, their light goes on.

They wake up one day and they decide they’re ready to settle down, have babies, whatever. And they turn their light on.

The next woman they pick up, boom. That’s the one they’ll marry.

It’s not fate. It’s dumb luck.

Charlotte:

I’m sorry. I refuse to believe that love is that random.

Miranda:

It’s all about timing.

You gotta get them when their light’s on.

Oh, “Sex And The City.”

You have taught me so much about dating, shoes and men.

After a decade of my own trials and tribulations in the wild world of dating, I have learned it’s all about timing.

When is someone “ready” for a relationship?

How does that magical moment occur? How is it that two individuals with varied backgrounds can come together and decide that, yes, this is the person they want to be with?

 

It makes me curious to think about this serendipitous moment when two people actually meet, click and decide to date only each other.

With the seemingly endless options the Internet has provided to us (literally at our fingertips), it’s hard for a lot of people to consider choosing just one person.

But even though the style and tactics for dating and finding a mate have changed over the last century, humans are still the same. We are ready when we are ready.

It’s maturity. It’s readiness. Yes, it’s also a bit of chance.

As a woman with her 30th birthday looming closer and closer on the horizon, I get pestered at every family get-together, with relatives asking me why I haven’t “found a nice young man yet.”

“Well, it’s not me,” I want to retort back. “I’m trying.”

I’m putting myself out there. I’m open to meeting the right guy.

It’s not like there’s a shortage of options for me, living in Seattle.

I meet guys through friends, at the bar, via Tinder and on boats.

I’ve given out my phone number, texted back and forth with just the right emoji and met for drinks a number of times.

I can talk about my job (“It’s a stepping stone to better opportunities, what about you?”), my friends (“They’re crazy bitches, but I love ‘em!”), what I like to do for fun (“I’m into borrowing people’s dogs and going hiking on the weekends.”) and so on.

Crushes and flings have come and gone. They were as fun and fleeting as a Friday night buzz.

Any number of these guys might have made it past the first few dates and become someone special — rather than someone forgotten — if there was only a little more effort on both our parts.

I used to despair that it was me.

I thought it was something about my features, how I dress or how often (or not) we texted that had a direct effect on our chances for a relationship.

It’s not because you don’t fit in with Taylor Swift’s girl squad. It’s not because he doesn’t dwarf you in heels.

Will you really care how tall he is or how great your hair looks when you have a baby crying in the middle of the night? Probably not.

Those things aren’t important in the grand scheme of a relationship.

What is important is if you happen to meet someone who is on the same page as you, at the same time you are,  you should know you’ve caught a shooting star.

That perfect serendipity of two people with two different lives, who have made different choices for years, but have managed to find each other despite how unpredictable and chaotic life is, is a magical thing.

When they are able to come together, one or both might act a little crazy. It’s frightening to think of losing that person once you’ve found him or her.

I’ve had relationships flourish within a few weeks.

Then again, I’ve also been in relationships that took months (and even over a year) of getting to know each other before we finally decided to take the leap into exclusivity.

One thing that’s different about me now, though, is I have less of a tolerance for someone who doesn’t know what he or she wants.

If you know you want to be in a relationship, act that way. If you know you’re not ready for that, let the other person know.

When will it be time for all those “casual daters” to become serious? It’s not an age because people get married at all different times.

It’s a state of mind.

It comes from a feeling of inner confidence.

It’s at a point where maybe you don’t have everything figured out about your future, but you’re damn well on your way to adulthood with at least a faint idea of what you’ll do when you’re there.

It’s at a moment when you’re happy with yourself, and you’re at the point where you have enough overflowing happiness to spread to the people around you.

You’re able and interested in the give-and-take that comes with a relationship, and you’ve also learned how to fight fair in love.

You have professional goals, but you also have personal goals.

It’s about time for those goals to actually happen.

You’re excited, you’re ignited and you’re ready to meet that person who is equally excited and ignited about his or her life, goals and, most importantly, you.

It happens at a moment when the both of you leap forward and say yes, instead of letting in the fear that comes from opening yourself up in a new relationship.

The possibility is there for all of us, but the timing has to be just right.

 

 

7 Reasons the Blunt Friend is the Best Friend You’ll Ever Have

Friday, November 13, 2015 Break -ups, Churches, Dating, Diet, Divorce, Exercise, Geaux Girl, Relationships, Sports, Woman's Health Permalink

Reprinted from: http://idealist4ever.com/blunt-friend/

7180_tall

1. A blunt person will never shit-talk you.

If you’re friends with a blunt person, it might just be you’re one of those magical species of human that doesn’t get on their nerves or you’re too busy being blunt yourself.

But if they have something to say, you can count on hearing it from them directly, because talking behind their friends’ backs is just not in their nature.

2. They’ll tell you the truth – even if it hurts.

A blunt person holds truth to the highest standard. If there’s something they think you need to hear, they’ll tell you. But be aware, just because you need to hear it, doesn’t mean it’s always what you want to hear.

The good thing about this is that your friendship issues don’t build up and explode. Instead of arguing, you’ll have meaningful and nurturing discussions.

3. A blunt friend doesn’t play passive-aggressive games.

With so many friends who aren’t honest about their feelings or make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, one thing to take off your list of worries is feeling that way around a blunt person. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

4. They have high moral standards.

People often mistake blunt people for being crude and lacking any morals. But don’t be fooled – they’re blunt because they know exactly what their idea of right and wrong is, without forgetting the grey area.

This actually explains why they act the way they do. Their bluntness is just their reaction to the world’s dishonesty.

5. A blunt person is the most fun to be around.

As if your blunt friend doesn’t make you crack up literally every second of the day, the two of you have the most unforgettable nights when you go out together.

Even if you were drunk and blacked out in the middle of it, it’s never just another night.

6. A blunt friend will teach you how to be a better friend and person.

Blunt people show you that it’s okay to stand up for your beliefs – that there’s no point in hesitating to voice your thoughts and opinions, simply out of the fear that others won’t like it.

Because what’s the point in being alive today if you can’t express yourself?

7. A blunt person’s friendship is pure.

Like pure chocolate pure. A blunt friend’s either with you all the way or they’re not with you at all. They’ll support you through the good and the bad without taking you for granted.

And a little appreciation is all it takes for you to make their day.