Divorce, Dating, Relationship Support

21 Things to Expect When Dating a Strong Woman

Reposted from: http://www.powerofpositivity.com/21-things-to-expect-when-dating-a-strong-woman/

Here are 21 things to expect when you date a strong woman.

  1. Strong women are on a mission. Expect the mission to be an important theme in the relationship. Both will be equally important to her but don’t make her choose.
  2. Strong women like to be self-sufficient. Expect things to be difficult for her to take a step back and relinquish some control. Don’t worry, she will eventually become more comfortable taking a back seat when the time is right.
  3. Strong women are creative and have an open mind so expect new ideas and potential change to be a constant topic of conversation.
  4. Strong women do not waste time on other people’s drama so do not try to engage in gossip or talking badly about others.
  5. Strong women are comfortable asking for they want and need, so expect open and direct lines of communication with little sugar-coating.
  6. Strong women take care of themselves, so expect them to spend time and money on things that make them feel and look good.
  7. Strong women recharge alone, so don’t expect them to be available every waking moment.
  8. Strong women surround themselves with other empowered women and these relationships are important. Expect her to devote time and energy to these relationships as equally as she does yours.
  9. Strong women seek information so expect her to question your feelings, where the relationship stands, and where it’s headed.
  10. Strong women are very clear on their visions, goals and want they want to accomplish in life so expect her to want to see similar ambitions in you.
  11. Strong women believe in the possibility, so expect her to look for solutions rather than giving up.
  12. Strong women recognize when things are not working and will immediately make the necessary changes to correct the course. You should expect action instead of endless discussion.
  13. Strong women let few people into her inner circle so expect her to put up some walls until she is sure you can be trusted and are comfortable with her headstrong ways.
  14. Strong women have a strong sense of morality so expect your values to be questioned. She will not feel comfortable pursuing a relationship if your values do not align or are in conflict with hers.
  15. Strong women thrive on doing many things that matter to them, so expect activities and projects to have a purpose.
  16. Strong women don’t feel they need anyone else, that they alone are enough. Expect her to be conflicted about wanting to need you at first, but give it time and she will come around.
  17. Strong women are grateful for the abundance in their life and you can expect to actively practice gratitude throughout your relationship.
  18. Strong women tend to focus on the positive and keep negativity at bay, so expect your negative thoughts to be questioned and challenged.
  19. Strong women accept responsibility, refuse to blame and won’t accept excuses so expect to be honest about your role in a situation. Once a situation is dealt with, consider it in the past because she doesn’t hold grudges.
  20. Strong women display a strong persona so expect to be a little intimidated. She will be slow to show her vulnerabilities.
  21. Strong women hold their fears of being hurt, being left, and becoming too dependent close to their heart so expect to work hard to win her love.

 

Of course, a strong woman is much more than the things listed here and the important takeaway is to expect a relationship, not a dalliance. Strong women rarely engage in a relationship that doesn’t serve her, so expect to fully commit.

You’re Not The One: 8 Ways To Tell It’s Time To Say Goodbye

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/youre-not-one-8-ways-tell-time-say-goodbye/1099469/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=EG&utm_content=1099469

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We’re used to getting advice on if he’s “the one” or not. We pick petals off daisies, read countless magazine articles and debate it with our closest friends.

We make mental checklists of all the reasons he is or isn’t Mr. Right, or even Mr. Almost Right.

Determining if he’s “the one” seems to be pretty clear-cut to those who have found him, and as clear as mud to everyone else.

But, contrary to popular belief, there is an easy way to figure out if you two are forever. Sometimes you just have to think about it from the opposite side.

On that note, here’s a list of red flags, so you can stop in your tracks, exit left stage now, call it quits and not waste another second.

1. He is dishonest.

Now I don’t mean he’s dishonest in that he tells you you look great in a pair of shorts you both know aren’t flattering.

I mean he lies all the time, about big or small things, and you’re always catching him somewhere he shouldn’t be.

My mom always told me if someone can look you in the eyes and lie to you, they will do anything to you.

We’ve all told a fib here and there, but blatantly lying with no remorse is a real sign this person lacks a necessary component for building a lasting relationship.

Honesty is key; it establishes the very foundation a relationship is built on.

There is sometimes pain in telling the truth, especially to a partner you have wronged, but if he is able to fess up and be painfully honest with you, it usually means he is willing to accept his fault.

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She Tells Her Grandma That She’s Just Been Cheated On So Grandma Tells Her To Do This

Reposted from: http://www.upmoments.com/she-tells-her-grandma-that-shes-just-been-cheated-on/

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This is a good lesson for all of us, no matter what stage of life you’re in. You’ll see what I mean.


A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her – her husband had cheated on her and she was devastated. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as soon as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, ‘Tell me what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.

Her grandmother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The grandmother then asked the granddaughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the grandmother asked the granddaughter to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked, ‘What does it mean, grandmother?’

Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her granddaughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity? Do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?


May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

May we all be like the COFFEE.

My Transformation: 30 Days of No Alcohol

Reposted from: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/08/my-transformation-30-days-of-no-alcohol/

Written by: Via James Swanwickon Aug 26, 2015

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Alcohol.

Most of us love a glass of wine over dinner or a cold beer on a hot summer day.

In moderation, it can make us feel good. It’s part of our culture. We enjoy sharing a few drinks with friends.

But what happens physically and mentally when you quit alcohol for 30 days? I tried this simple experiment in 2010.

Seemed easy enough. I wanted to test my self-discipline. Little did I know then that 30 days would turn into six months, which became one year. After five years, it’s now part of my lifestyle. Life is simply better without alcohol.

People often ask me about my story.

I was a journalist for 20 years, and alcohol was part of the culture. I’d enjoy a few quiet beers during the week and go a little harder most weekends. It all seemed like good fun.

But on March 12, 2010, I awoke with a shocking hangover after a particularly fun night at the South by Southwest Festival in Austin, Texas.

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15 Things I Wish Someone Told Me About My First Year Of Divorce

Reposted from: http://www.yourtango.com/2015277958/15-things-i-wish-someone-told-me-about-year-one-of-divorce?utm_content=bufferf3f03&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

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Hindsight. We love it. Too bad we can’t have it beforehand.

That first year after your divorce can be a real humdinger. There’s so much going on, so many new things happening, and so many emotions floating around. In retrospect, you wish someone would’ve told you the specifics, as far as the things that get better or easier.

Here’s what I wish I’d known during that first year:

1. You don’t have to be perfect all of a sudden. Sure, people are watching (mainly your ex and your in-laws) to see how you do. But that doesn’t mean you have to be superhuman. Stop scrubbing the cat box with your old toothbrush at 3AM and forget about getting up an hour early to do your makeup.

2. You’re alone now, but not forever. Yes, you will find someone else one day, if and when you want to. Right now, just find the blessings in being alone. There are plenty.

3. Your mother will get over it. Really.

4. Dating really isn’t dead/all that bad. Eventually, it even becomes fun.

5. Your bed might seem empty at first … but later on, you’ll revel in the fact that the whole thing is yours. The whole thing.

6. You’re about to forge a whole new relationship with your kids. No matter how good/touchy/close your relationship with your kids is now, there’s a bond between single parents and their kids that’s amazing and unique only to them.

7. That weight gain or unwanted weight loss will right itself. The emotional eating will go away. The stress-induced starvation will, too.

8. Forget what you lost; recognize what you’ve gained. The good and the bad are gone. But a whole new world, full of possibilities that only you get to choose, has opened up to you.

9. Missing him will fade. Pretty soon, you won’t miss being with him. You might miss being with someone, but that can be fixed.

10. You didn’t fail; your marriage failed. You’ll go on to triumph at other things and one of them might even be marriage.

11. Don’t discount the little things. Closet space. Your favorite foods on the menu. A bathroom all to yourself. Ugly but comfy jammies. They all matter.

12. Your life is now your design. It’s not empty; it’s blank. Write a new one.

13. He was an idiot, anyway. There you go. Someone said it for you.

14. You don’t have to figure it all out this week. Make mistakes. Take your time. Shelve things for later. Shake it off. Your life just changed completely. You have a lot of new things to learn. Give yourself the patience you’re giving your kids.

15. This too shall pass. Whatever it is, it’s temporary. Unless it’s good, in which case, you should keep it.

Everything’s new. Things are in upheaval. You’re up one day and down the next. But every day, you’re one step closer to a happy and fulfilling new life that you will rock.

So, take a deep breath and remember that this is just the first week, month, or year