Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/women-never-really-forget/645125/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=EG&utm_content=ED_D2_645125

Paul Hudson in Dating

Why is it that we remember some things so vividly and others not at all? Some things we remember in such perfect detail that we can almost relive that moment in our minds, over and over again.

At the same time, we’ll have difficulty remembering the name of that person we met three minutes ago. Clearly it isn’t only the happiest memories that follow us through life, but also the most horrible memories – those memories that haunt us no matter how hard we try to forget them.

What makes a memory memorable isn’t actually the actions that make up that memory. It’s not the things that happened that matter to you, but rather how those things made you feel that sticks with you long after.

We remember those events that made us feel the most. It’s the emotions that resulted from those events that make the events themselves feel so real, even years after the fact.

For this reason, it isn’t difficult to imagine women – specifically – having a harder time letting things go. Women are more emotionally intelligent than men. It’s a scientific fact.

This may not necessarily mean that they feel happier, angrier or sadder than their male counterparts, but it does mean that they respond emotionally to stimuli more often and for a longer period of time than men do.

Women aren’t exactly more emotional in the sense that most men would believe – it’s not that their emotions are like ours, but two-fold. It’s simply that they allow themselves to feel emotion more often than men do – allowing themselves to dive deeper for longer.

It’s partially physiological, as well as the result of our social constructs. Regardless of the cause, the fact is that women experience more emotion in their lives than men do.

What does this mean? That depends in what context we’re thinking. Generally speaking, I feel that women live in a much more vibrant and exciting reality than men do. But what I’m even more interested in is how this affects men – specifically, the men that these women form relationships with.

Men don’t often think about these things, but the reality is that because women experience more frequent emotion within a relationship, often making it a more intense experience, they are much less likely to forget.

When a woman loves you she will never forget how it felt to love you. But break her heart and she will never, ever let it go.

I’m sorry to say that I have firsthand experience in the matter. Any man who has tried to make a failed relationship work the second or third time around will have had a very similar experience.

Breaking a woman’s heart doesn’t scar the same way that it scars men – it cuts much, much deeper. Being a man, it’s difficult for me to put into words, as I have not experienced the pain myself. I have, however, seen what it can do to a woman.

I’ve seen how a broken heart can change a woman – darken her spirit. While a broken heart does hurt immensely for men, for women, it’s much worse.

Even if the initial pain is similar, men are more likely to move past it in time. Women, on the other hand, hold on to the baggage and carry it with them for most of their lives.

It’s a horrible matter, but sometimes that’s just the price you pay for love. What’s worse is that the woman won’t stop searching for love, even after she has been dragged through the mud. Even if she won’t admit it to herself, the fact is that once you experience love – especially if you are a woman – you will never stop looking for it again.

Love is the high that tops all highs. Unfortunately, the pain from the last experience never really fades for women, making love a complicated matter. I dated a broken woman once, and I can tell you right now that getting her to trust you is not easy.

Whenever she looks at you, she is going to think of him, and all the horrible things he did to her – all the horrible things they did to each other. We all carry baggage from relationship to relationship, but no luggage can compare to that of a woman with a broken heart.

There is, however, a bright side to all of this. If you treat her right, if you care for her, let her know how important she is to you, and let her feel how much she loves you, you have found yourself a partner for life.

Most women are incredibly loyal – as long as they are given what they feel they need. This, again, becomes a more complicated matter when dealing with a woman who has been broken by her previous relationships, but if you get to know her the way she wants to be known then you will find a friend and lover until the day you die.

Just as a woman will not forget how you hurt her, she will also never forget how you loved her. Women remember pain just as vividly as they remember joy and bliss.

If you make a woman feel the way that she wishes she could feel every second of every day, then you have found yourself a partner for life.

The only question then is whether or not you’re smart enough to realize what you have or whether you’ll be just another idiot and squander the most valuable thing in the world: the love of a good woman.

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