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Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/women/single-girl-problems-the-17-things-that-make-me-an-undateable-girl/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=EG&utm_content=EG1u6Vh1T_1B
Written by: Ashley Fern in Advice
Apparently, being single in your twenties is currently some sort of epidemic that comes without explanation. While I am a part of this demographic, I am more than aware of the reasons I am single. It starts off with this: I choose to be.
Reposted from: http://www.bustle.com/articles/44130-6-feelings-only-ex-party-girls-can-truly-understand
Written by: Kat George
There comes a time when every seasoned party girl hangs up her party pants. At some point, life stops being about cigarettes and champagne at an impromptu party thrown by some artist she just met at an East Village bar in his trendy Bowery loft at 4 a.m. on a Wednesday morning, and starts being about early Vinyasa followed by juice and bagels. At some point, she stops buying drugs and starts spending her money on home improvements. When instead of Googling the hottest new place to eat, most of her searches relate either to how long food can be kept in the freezer or how to really make houseplants thrive. When she trades in spontaneity for regularity. This time, for most, will inevitably come around – and it isn’t as depressing as it sounds. In fact, it can be wonderful. But the feelings involved with this transition are mixed and many.
It’s the time when she decides that sleeping until 2 p.m. and subsisting on coffee and nicotine isn’t cute anymore. I can’t tell you exactly when or how it happens, but for me, it began with an apathy towards smoky eye makeup that started creeping in very slowly. I was suddenly just very uninspired to spend time on that. And so I started to go to partying without eye makeup. Ah, the slow and bitter unraveling of the party girl!
The nail in my party girl coffin came after a string of crazy weekends, when one morning I found myself on a rooftop watching the sun rise over Manhattan and talking to people I’d never met before, and who I knew I would never see again. And when I say talking I mean listening to their shit silently, while a voice screamed in my head “THIS IS SUCH A WASTE OF TIME.” Two years have gone by, and with nary a party to add to my resume, I’ve been feeling a lot of feels, probably ones that only ex-party girls will truly understand.
It used to be that there was a dress for every occasion. Even a Tuesday night out called for a dress. Now it’s just dumb old jeans to a bar at happy hour. The demands from your wardrobe change dramatically when you go from being a party girl to a regular human. But no matter how many pairs of pants you add to your sartorial repertoire, you’ll always hover for a minute in your wardrobe, fingering your neglected dresses wistfully. And when an occasion does call for a dress, rest assured that you’ll think of nothing else for at least six weeks prior to the event.
Once upon a time, you were constantly surrounded by people. You were always waking up next to your “bestie” after a night of hard partying, and the two of you would mosey to brunch, pump yourselves full of bloody mary, and start again. Party girls are never alone, and as such, it’s really easy to lose sight of what friendship actually looks like. As an ex-party girl, I’m always worried that I don’t have any friends, simply because I only see friends 2-3 nights a week, as opposed to 7. It’s a daunting transition, but a friend who will be there when you need to talk, help you move, or just simply reply to your texts when you send them is much more valuable than a drunk girl in a bathroom stall vomiting out her daddy issues while cutting lines on the back of the seat, and who disappears from your life entirely during day time hours (unless it’s to plan the next party.)
Ex-party girls aren’t worried about missing the party. We’ve been to the party. It was only okay. But we’re riddled with anxiety that while we were partying, we missed out on something else. On forwarding our careers or falling in love. On not aging ourselves with the imbibing of terrible things; on all the sleep we could have had. We’re worried we’ve missed out on just being better people with more to show for our time than a few stories about dropping acid. Partying is great, but every party is just one more day you let slip through your fingers because for a 48-hour period you were either too off your face or too hung over to live your life like a regular human.
Having worried about missing out on actual “life” for so long, when an ex-party girl is actually productive the adrenaline rush and sense of achievement is like nothing else. There’s a true appreciation you feel for everything you do that’s not the worst.
Identifying a party girl, even out of her natural habitat (the party) is easy. You see her on the subway in the mornings trying to hide her dress with her jacket, wearing her sunglasses inside and inordinately tall heels. She’s been out all night and is on the way home from the party/after party/after after party/dude’s house. Her hair is matted down on one side and she’s gripping a coffee like it’s the last coffee she’ll ever have. You know the one thought going through her head on repeat is simply “Just get home, just get home.” To everyone else she’s just a girl who didn’t put herself together very well this morning. But you know her because you were her.
There are some things that a former party girl has done or seen that she can’t undo or unsee. Some of those things will be her cross to bear, and hers alone, her whole life. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, but it’s not even about a sense of pride. It’s that some things, uttered out loud, would make other people’s toes curl. That’s why when we see those party girls trudging home after long nights out, we smile a little. Because the only people we could ever tell the truth about our party days to, free of judgement, are other party girls.
Reposted from: http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/women/how-to-protect-yourself-from-these-10-toxic-people.html
Written by: Debbie McDanielCrosswalk.com Contributing Writer
Life is precious. Yet all too often, we may find that much of our time is spent around negative, toxic people, draining the life right out of us. Sometimes they’re co-workers, friends, or sadly, even family members.
Reposted from: https://www.onmogul.com/articles/do-not-get-married-unless-you-ask-your-partner-these-15-questions-or-else-you-ll-wish-you-had
Written by : Mogul Staff
We often hear friends wondering where they’re making the right move in marrying their significant other. The New York Times surveyed what critical questions partners should be asking each other before taking the final leap, and this list of 15 questions is what relationship experts came back with:
1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
Those that fail to ask each other the above questions may one day find themselves at the center of an explosive dispute — with much graver consequences than if had you fully shared your perspectives on these topics beforehand.
So, if you and your partner are looking to get married, make sure to ask each other this list of questions first, and hopefully you’ll be able to lay all your cards on the table and clarify any uncertainties between the two of you. If you are able to negotiate and reach a compromise on the above, you’ll be in a great place with your partner.
If these important questions prove helpful to you, share them with your friends, too.
Source: New York Times
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