Reposted from: http://www.cafe.com/r/fcc5c057-1b88-4e2c-8652-0423ce3b30a0/1/i-took-lori-gottliebs-advice-to-marry-him-this-is-what-happened

By Leigh Anderson

n the run-up to our wedding, Andy said, Well, we can always get divorced. And I nodded, like we were talking about ordering a risky entrée at lunch—we can always send it back. The marriage proposal, the result of an ultimatum, was the grimmest one in the history of the institution. The wife after Anne Boleyn was more psyched for her marriage than I was.

© flickr/Dougtone

Reposted from: http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating-tips-advice/pity-the-pretty-an-ode-to-attractive-women-who-cant-find-boyfriends/

Written by : Evan Marc Katz

I am 25 years old and have never been in a serious relationship.  I am a very attractive girl and I tend to meet guys easily and go on dates mostly every weekend. My problem is that it never leads to anything more than that. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but the date will go really well and things tend to either move really slow, I won’t hear from them after our date for a week or so, or not at all.  My friends all have boyfriends, and I’m really looking to settle down.  Can you help me?  By the way, it never gets farther than kissing with me.  I realize that if they don’t stick around because I won’t have sex with them, then at least I know. It just seems that’s all they are looking for. It seems that attractive girls only get guys that want to sleep with them.

Reposted from: http://selfcarehaven.wordpress.com/2014/07/21/five-powerful-ways-abusive-narcissists-get-inside-your-head/

In popular culture, the term “narcissistic” is thrown about quite loosely, usually referring to vanity and self-absorption. This reduces narcissism to a common quality that everyone possesses and downplays the symptoms demonstrated by people with the actual disorder. While narcissism does exist on a spectrum, narcissism as a full-fledged personality disorder is quite different.

People who meet the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder or those who have traits of Antisocial Personality Disorder  can operate in extremely manipulative ways within the context of intimate relationships due to their deceitfulness, lack of empathy and their tendency to be interpersonally exploitative. Although I will be focusing on narcissistic abusers in this post, due to the overlap of symptoms in these two disorders, this post can potentially apply to interactions with those who have ASPD to an extent.

It’s important in any kind of relationship that we learn to identify the red flags when interacting with people who display malignant narcissism and/or antisocial traits, so we can better protect ourselves from exploitation and abuse, set boundaries, and make informed decisions about who we keep in our lives. Understanding the nature of these toxic interactions and how they affect us has an enormous impact on our ability to engage in self-care.

Watch out for the following covert manipulation tactics when you’re dating someone or in a relationship.

1. The Idealization-Devaluation-Discard Phase

Narcissists and those with antisocial traits tend to subject romantic partners through three phases within a relationship. The idealization phase (which often happens most strongly during the early stages of dating or a relationship) consists of putting you on a pedestal, making you the center of his/her world, being in contact with you frequently, and showering you with flattery and praise. You are convinced that the narcissist can’t live without you and that you’ve met your soulmate. Be wary of: constant texting, shallow flattery and wanting to be around you at all times. This is a technique known as “lovebombing” and it is how most victims get sucked in: they are tired of the “games” people play with each other in communication and are flattered by the constant attention they get from the narcissist. You may be fooled into thinking that this means a narcissist is truly interested in you, when in fact, he or she is interested in making you dependent on their constant praise and attention.

Reposted: http://elitedaily.com/dating/10-commandments-modern-mating/817957/?utm_source=huffingtonpost.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_facebook

Written by: Emily Sher

We’ve come a long way since “going steady” and “getting pinned” were considered benchmarks for a flourishing couple.

Nowadays, people can more easily define a “basic bitch” than their own relationship status. While the times have most certainly changed, I’d argue that there is still a desire and need for a few common courtesies.

They may even be all the more important now that single Americans outnumber their married counterparts for the first time in history.

We may call it hooking up rather than dating, swipe on our phones rather than approach strangers in a bar or blur the lines between friendships and romance, but that doesn’t make our methods any better or worse. In fact, even casual flings can be healthy and fun.

With all due respect to Pat Benatar, love doesn’t have to be a battlefield; we all just need to agree on a few basic ground rules. So, whether you’re a guy or a girl, gay or straight, looking for love or just a good lay, here are your 10 commandments of modern dating.

Consider me God in this scenario.

1. Thou Shalt Not Bear False Feelings

Let’s be real here: Are you actually into this person or are you keeping him on the back burner in case nothing better comes along? If it’s the latter, channel your inner Moses and let those people go.

You might hurt his feelings in the moment, but you’ll be doing him a favor in the long run. Trust.