Reposted from: http://www.wwltv.com/story/news/features/2015/10/14/lessons-i-learned-from-loving-a-drug-addict/73958870/

Written by: Alicia Cook, Correspondent

EDITOR’S NOTE: Alicia Cook, 29, lost her cousin to a drug overdose when they were both teenagers. She regularly writes columns detailing the gut-wrenching journey in hopes that her story can save at least one life. Today, she writes about what it’s like to love someone who’s addicted to drugs.

am not an addict.

But try and love one, and then see if you can look me square in the eyes and tell me that you didn’t get addicted to trying to fix them.

If you’re lucky, they recover. If you’re really lucky, you recover, too.

Loving a drug addict can and will consume your every thought. Watching their physical deterioration and emotional detachment to everything will make you the most tired insomniac alive.

RELATED: The hellish truth about drugs, relationships

You will stand in the doorway of their bedroom and plead with them that you “just want them back.” If you watch the person you love disappear right in front of your eyes long enough, you will start to dissolve too.

Those not directly affected won’t be able to understand why you are so focused on your loved one’s well-being, especially since, during the times of your family member’s active addiction, they won’t seem so concerned with their own.

Don’t become angry with these people. They do not understand. They are lucky to not understand. You’ll catch yourself wishing that you didn’t understand, either.

Heroin addict fakes death before losing his life

“What if you had to wake up every day and wonder if today was the day your family member was going to die?” will become a popular, not-so-rhetorical question.

Drug addiction has the largest ripple effect that I have ever witnessed firsthand.

It causes parents to outlive their children. It causes jail time and homelessness. It causes sisters to mourn their siblings. It causes nieces to never meet their aunts. It causes an absence before the exit.

You will see your loved one walking and talking, but the truth is, you will lose them far before they actually succumb to their demons; which, if they don’t find recovery, is inevitable.

Drug addiction causes families to come to fear a ringing phone or a knock on the door. It causes vague obituaries. I read the papers and I follow the news; and it is scary. “Died suddenly” has officially become obituary-speak for “another young person found dead from a drug overdose.”

Jessica Cook died at 19 from a drug overdose. (Photo: COURTESY OF ALICIA COOK)

Drug addiction causes bedrooms and social media sites to become memorials. It causes the “yesterdays” to outnumber the “tomorrows.” It causes things to break; like the law, trust and homes.

Drug addiction causes statistics to rise and knees to fall, as praying seems like the only thing left to do sometimes.

People have a way of pigeonholing those who suffer from addiction. They call them “trash,” “junkies” or “criminals,” which is hardly ever the truth. Addiction is an illness. Addicts have families and aspirations.

You will learn that drug addiction doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care if the addict came from a loving home or a broken family.

Alicia Cook, right, with her cousin Jessica, before she died from a drug overdose. (Photo: COURTESY OF ALICIA COOK)

Drug addiction doesn’t care if you are religious. Drug addiction doesn’t care if you are a straight-A student or a drop-out. Drug addiction doesn’t care what ethnicity you are. Drug addiction will show you that one decision and one lapse in judgment can alter the course of an entire life.

Drug addiction doesn’t care. Period. But you care.

You will learn to hate the drug but love the addict. You will begin to accept that you need to separate who the person once was with who they are now.

It is not the person who uses, but the addict. It is not the person who steals to support their habit, but the addict. It is not the person who spews obscenities at their family, but the addict. It is not the person who lies, but the addict.

And yet, sadly… it is not the addict who dies, but the person.

Reposted from: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/7-subtle-ways-a-guy-will-show-hes-head-over-heels-for-you-kt/

Written by: Max Karp

 Max Karp calls out women for complaining about what their guys don’t do and gives tips for how to focus on what they are doing.

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If I had a penny for every time I heard a woman say, “All guys are assh*les,” I’d be rich. I’d be absolutely loaded.

But, how often do you hear women raving about how great a guy is? Sure, plenty of guys fall into the douchebag category, but not all of them.

Women, you’re so focused on what he doesn’t do that you fail to notice all the things he does do. If you pay attention to what he does do, you could see a part of him you’ve never have before.

Let’s be clear, though. Expensive meals, gifts and trips are not “little things.” Sorry, ladies.

But once you start to notice the real little things, you won’t even care about all the things money can buy.

Great guys are hard to come by, but they exist.

I’ll bet there are plenty in your life.

The problem is, you haven’t been looking with the right lens.

So ladies, it’s time to make the change and open your eyes to these little things you’re bound to overlook.

1. Texts

Today, technology is everything. Texting is something we can’t live without.

In a relationship, texting may or may not be a big focus. Some people prefer phone calls, some love to text and some aren’t really into doing either.

Of course, conversation should always be enjoyable. But you shouldn’t overlook the random, mid-day text that only has the intention to make you smile.

2. Flowers

Every woman loves flowers, and any good guy is sure to give a woman flowers on all the major occasions.

But why isn’t a random Tuesday a major occasion? Why not today? What about when you’re having a horrible week?

The good guy will never miss a big moment, but the great guy makes any moment a big one.

The great guy knows the power of flowers, and he’s never afraid to use them.

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/11-things-wish-someone-told-marriage/926503/

Written by: Liz Spornick in Dating

When you get engaged, be prepared for everyone around — from friends to strangers — to tell you, “The first year of marriage is the hardest.” They just won’t shut up about it.

I’m here to tell you it’s not true.

I mean, yes, I am sure that some couples have a really hard time adjusting to married life — especially couples who haven’t known each other long or haven’t lived together — but in the grand scheme of things, if you’re ready to stand up in front of your closest loved ones and pledge your life, love and finances to someone you genuinely love, chances are you can figure out who should unload the dishwasher without it becoming a thing.

I’ve been married for a year and a half, and with so many of my friends engaged and knee-deep in Pinterest, I’ve been thinking about the things I wish I knew about getting married before it happened — from wedding planning to actually, you know, being a wife.

So, in honor of paying it forward, these are the top 11 things I wished someone told me about marriage.

1. The first year is the absolute BEST.

You guys did it, and it’s awesome. Don’t go into the first year of marriage prepared for the worst because it’ll turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Remember, if sh*t hits the fan, you’re married now, and you promised to weather storms together. That is exactly what you’ll do; there really is strength in numbers.

2. You’re probably more selfish than you realized.

When you’re dating or even engaged, your life is still just that: YOURS. After you say “I do,” you’re legally bound to consider your husband or wife’s needs, wants and life as just as important as yours, if not more.

For me, this has been a bit of an uncomfortable spotlight on areas in my life where I still think as “me” instead of “we.”

Reposted from: http://elitedaily.com/dating/reasons-hes-not-texting/1143283/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=EG&utm_content=1143283

Written by:       Candice Jalili on Love Is A Mother F*cker

So you just sent him the best text ever created by (wo)man. And what do you get? CRICKETS.

That’s right. This mother f*cker just ghosted you.

But… you rock! There’s no way he’s actually ghosting you.

In fact, you convince yourself of precisely 84 TOTALLY LOGICAL reasons as to why he’s not giving you a prompt reply.

1. He lost his phone, and now he’s freaking out because he can’t respond to me. Poor guy.

2. My text wasn’t necessarily the type of text you HAVE to respond to.

3. He’s just not a good texter.

4. He’s probably hammered at a party or something.

5. He respects me too much, so he didn’t want to text me while he’s drunk.

6. He travels a lot for work; he probably had to get out of town last minute.

7. He’s with his family.

8. He’s on the phone telling his mom about me right now.

9. He ran into his ex and freaked out because he didn’t want her to see him texting the new love of his life.

10. He’s trying to think of the PERFECT response.